Right now, everyone and their nan should be practicing social distancing.
We currently live in a world where understanding what terms like quarantine, social distancing and respiratory etiquette mean are a matter of life and death. Hopefully, very soon, we can get back to cluttering our public consciousness with more trivial idioms like ‘litty’ and ’yeet’. Well, on second thought, let’s all vow to never go back to those days… We can do better guys! So, if you’re not yet 100% clear on what these terms actually mean – we’re here to spell it out for you! Starting with
SOCIAL DISTANCING:
Meaning: In short, stay home.
If it is not a matter of grave importance to leave your house – don’t. In order to limit the spread of the virus, there needs to be a collective effort to stay home as much as possible. We understand that some jobs can’t for whatever reason be worked from home, but if it’s possible to, then do so! This is essential as the virus spreads surprisingly easily. So much so that even the most conscientious of us may not be able to head out without spreading or contracting it. Especially as it takes two weeks for symptoms to show. That quick trip to the hair salon may just be the trip that infects hundreds of people. No bob, however freshly trimmed, is worth it…ok Karen?
“But fresh air is necessary for my mental health!” If you don’t have access to a back garden and cracking a window wide open isn’t quite itching the scratch – then walks are ok! As long as you are careful to avoid walking too close to others, avoid touching surfaces and your face. A good rule of thumb is to stay a meter away from everyone.
If you’re thinking of organising a small get together, with only a few careful people – delete the Whatsapp chat. Sorry, but that gal’s get together is best postponed, as small gatherings are unfortunately not social distancing. We know we know, it sucks, but DO WE ALL WANT ANOTHER HOT GIRLS SUMMER? Lord knows the summer cocktails are calling out our names. Small sacrifices now will lead to the speedy return of normalcy! Thank the Lord we are in the age of Facetime. Lay out your fanciest top and comfiest pj bottoms – it’s party time.
Small sacrifices now will lead to the speedy return of normalcy
Just in case it’s not already clear, ‘no cheeky bevs’ at pubs, clubs, cafes, parties or events. Feel free to go shopping for groceries if your supply is running low, but don’t just pop to the shop to get a packet of Gü-Zillionaires on its own. And for the love of god don’t stockpile either, the government has confirmed that there is enough Gü and bog roll to go round.
It may seem like there are a lot of don’ts floating around, but really it’s just one…don’t leave your house. Tick that off and there are plenty of things you can do indoors! Netflix and chilling at home, for once, can make you a valued and cherished member of society. So, it’s time to put all those years of practice into work and let’s all just do our bit!
…yeet.
