Jingle bells? More like tingle bells, and we’re here to tingle all the way if you know what we’re saying. We’ve thrown together a gift guide just for you. So, if you’ve ever wondered what kind of vibe you are, we’ve got the tea with a side of hot, buttered crumpets. ‘Tis the season. You deserve it.
Find your sign (sun, moon, and rising), and catch a glimpse into your future.
Hint: It’s sexy. Very sexy.
Aries gals have a great sense of style, but to their core, they’re playful at heart. Enter the Crave Vesper necklace, a deliciously beautiful necklace that doubles as a toy… of the sexy time variety. It’s quiet AF, so you can play anytime, anywhere, and not a soul would know. It comes (get it?) in gold, rose gold, or silver. And for extra fun and ownership, you can even have it personalized with your name or a hot and steamy message to remind you that you are in control.
The choice is yours, Aries.
Tauruses sometimes get a bad rap for being way into luxury, but when we saw the Kama Sutra Honey Dust, we knew our fellow Taureans are onto something. This moisture-wicking body powder smells divine and leaves your skin feeling delicious, too. Plus, it’s edible.
And we know our Bull Babes love a late-night snack.
Gemini, as the twins of the zodiac, you deserve twin dildos. Honestly, it’s the least we can do. The Glas Double Pleasure Set offers not one, but two different dildos! Perfect for our Gemini Gals who can sometimes wear two masks. It’s not your fault. You’re just adaptable and prepared for anything. These dildos are intended for internal stimulation, but here’s the extra fun part, they’re double-ended, so do whatcha wanna with whomever you wanna! You always do! They’re curved and ridged in all the right places and guaranteed to have you reaching new heights.
Two is better than one in so many ways, especially in dildos and having a Gemini on your side.
Before you scream, “AN AUDIOBOOK?”, Cancer, hear us out! Dipsea is a woman-owned company that specializes in audio erotica, from five to twenty-minute sexy stories written by women, for women, to get you in the mood. As our sensitive, soulful, moody (you know it’s true) sign in the zodiac, we just knew when we discovered Dipsea, it would speak to our beautiful Cancerians. Stories range from her/her, her/he, and her/they tales, so they’re sure to suit your fantasy. Plus, don’t even lie and say you’ve never gotten turned on hearing the sound of someone’s voice or, you know, sex sounds. You know what they say… the quickest way to achieve orgasm is through the ears.
They don’t say that, but we think you understand what we mean.
Let’s tame this lion, shall we?
Leos, we all know you’re the roaring lion of the zodiac, but wouldn’t it be fun to play cub once in awhile? Embrace the role reversal from your usually dominant side and try on the Bondage Collar & Leash for size. Plus, it’s couture, so it’ll suit your need for luxe.
Virgos are the queens of multitasking… and having dirty little secrets. The Aurora vibrator by Bellesa covers all the bases. For starters, its sleek design is pretty enough to showcase on a shelf in your home as a work of art. Seriously, no one would know. But the best part? It doubles as both a clitoral vibe and a G-spot stimulator, providing you with double the pleasure, double the fun, and only one button to get you to your vibrating rhythm of choice. It’s got looks, it’s got speed, and it’s efficient.
It’s every Virgos (wet) dream.
Our Libra Ladies love beautiful things, so of course, we had to choose the stunner that is the rose quartz dildo (comes in small and large!). And as the justice-seekers of the zodiac, we only think it’s fair that our Libras experience mind-blowing pleasure and inner peace at the same time. Besides, for our social Libras, this piece is a great conversation starter.
Friend: What’s this? It’s beautiful.
Libra: Thank you! It promotes self-love and makes me come.
Scorpio, we see you… and we know you like to have control. But in a cool way. You feel us? The Kink Lab Neon Wand offers you or your partner(s) sensations ranging from gentle to more intense… tingles. All at your discretion. This sexy AF toy is the perfect pairing for our Scorpio babes because sometimes you all are underrated in the passion department. And so are shock waves. Who knew! A fun addition? The electrical charges glow red or purple.
Your choice, you vixen, you.
Sag, you’re the wild one of the zodiac. Well, one of them anyway. And we know you’re down to try new things. So, why not bondage? The Everything Bondage Kit is the beginner’s guide to bondage, featuring a gag, collar, leash, flogger, wrist and ankle cuffs, and more. If anyone would whip this out on a date, it’s you.
So, whip it. Whip it good.
Cap, we know you’re responsible, pragmatic, and resourceful, so we’re leading you to a vibe that is all of the above (and more). The Wonderlust Serenity is under $50, has 20 vibrating functions, and the charge lasts five hours. See? Responsible, pragmatic, and resourceful! Perfect for our Capricorn gals who spend a lot of time chasing their goals, but still need to chase the Big O, too. It comes in three beautiful colors and is flexible enough for you to apply the exact pressure you’re looking for. Flexible? For an earth sign? Oh yes. There are plenty folks don’t know about earth signs, and one is that we’re flexible.
In more ways than one.
Aquarians, you’re known for your free-spirited attitude and eccentric spirit, and you know what? We love it. Know what else we love? You, but in vibe form! The California Dreaming Orange County Cutie goes here, there, and everywhere – kind of like you. And we say that with love. With a battery that lasts up to 2.5 hours (!!!), this vibrator tickles, teases, and everything in-between. It’s perfect for clitoral play but also thrusts for some G-spot action. And, in total, has 13 speeds.
Leave it up to you, Aquarius, to defy authority and embrace the lucky number 13.
Ah, the elusive Pisces. We see you. And so does the Play With Me Cutie Vibe Plus. Don’t let its small size fool you. This toy packs a punch. It can be used for clitoral play or nipple play and is perfect for revving up both (or more, you are a loving Pisces, after all) partners before the big event. Plus, it’s travel-sized and waterproof.
Perfect for our fish friends who are in constant motion.
This year, as you shop for gifts for loved ones, don’t forget about the most important person in your life – and that’s you. Treat yourself to something special this year. Perhaps it’s a new vibe that blows you away, or perhaps it’s a book (a sexy book) that blows your mind. Whatever your fancy, keep your pleasure at the forefront and put the ‘o’ back in ho, ho, ho.