I don’t know where the wild idea to cage dive with great white sharks came from. I was travelling in South Africa with my friends when one of them said it might be fun and frankly, I wasn’t paying attention when I agreed to it. I thought he was kidding. Next thing I know, I’m on a boat heading out into the Indian Ocean with my stomach in knots. What did I sign up for?
We were in Cape Town, South Africa and had to drive for two hours to a surf town at the very tip of the continent called Gansbaai. We stepped out of the car and walked into the tour office where they fed us breakfast, before making us sign a few liability papers ensuring that if a shark was to bite off one of my limbs, it wouldn’t be their fault. This, clearly, was either going to be the best or the last purchase I would ever make.
Soon, a fishing boat zoomed us out into the ocean. I don’t know if it was fear or sea sickness, but by the time the boat slowed to a stop, bobbing on the water while the crew anchored, my stomach felt like it was in my throat.
“You see that buoy a few metres away?” The captain asked.
“Yeah,” we replied tentatively.
“That’s your cage,” he said.
This was happening.
I slipped into a thick wetsuit and sat at the front of the boat looking for signs of a fin. I began to think about everyday analogies for what I was about to experience with the sharks, a little trick that usually helps me overcome my fears. So there I was, in the middle of the ocean, racking my brains for a quote or a comparison to soothe myself with.
Luckily, for this particular scenario, the comparisons came thick and fast – I can’t help but feel like I’m constantly dealing with sharks in the real world. Fears about the future, job instability, men, the gender pay gap, the list could go on. These sharks swim around my brain all day, every day, not just in the Indian Ocean. Any comfort from this analogy was short-lived, however, as it was at this point I saw the first fin pop out of the water. My heart nearly stopped. It was like one of those surreal moments from a teen movie, though hopefully not the one where everyone gets eaten.
I pulled myself back to reality as the crew ushered me to the rear of the boat, placed weights around my abdomen so that I would stay under, then put goggles over my eyes. I looked at my friend and he smiled. “Let’s do this.”
That was all I needed to jump into the shark-infested waters. But as I slid into the cage, I let out a cry of shock. The water was absolutely freezing. Hoping I hadn’t pissed off any Great Whites with my scream, I took a peek underwater. I didn’t see anything. My heart was racing.
The crew threw chum into the water around us (a lovely concoction of fish parts, bones and blood) which creates a scent trail for the sharks to follow. I waited for the captain’s signal then heard him yell, “Down, down, down!” That was my cue to go underwater and open my eyes.
Directly in front of me was a massive, four-meter-long great white shark, sharp teeth jutting out of her mouth and beady eyes darting back and forth. Her movements were swift and precise. I watched as she took a vicious bite out of the dead fish guts floating in the water around her.
This shark was a powerful woman. A woman who knows what she wants and (quite literally) goes after it. Not many people know this, but the skin of a female shark is much thicker than that of a male. That’s because male sharks tend to bite them, so the ladies develop a thick skin. Some female sharks have also been known to reproduce without the aid of a male, a fact I found particularly pleasing.
She seems scary, yes, I thought. But at the end of the day she’s just trying to survive… kind of like me.
I popped my head up above the water, took a breath and immediately started laughing. I don’t know if it was nerves or relief but in that moment my body seemed to relax. I couldn’t believe these beautiful creatures were swimming right in front of me. I felt completely and utterly inspired.
There were several sharks by now and as they swam around the cage they didn’t seem to notice me. The captain explained that these wild animals won’t react unless you pose a threat or deliberately aggravate them. Makes sense.
I’d been on a real journey. I’d started out trying to manage my fear about the sharks by making it small, comparing these animals to the worries that swim around my head all day. But I ended the experience seeing the sharks for what they were. Unapologetically fierce, independent and ruthless. And anything but small.
After spending about 20 minutes in the cage, it was time for me to say goodbye and give someone else a go. I floated on some kind of adrenaline high for the rest of the day.
I stared fear directly in the eyes, and you know what? She’s the killer queen I aim to be.
