Spring has sprung, summer is right around the corner, and after a year in lockdown, we are ready to come out and play. We thought it’d be fun to create a little how-to guide on living your best life this summer, plus ways you can turn ordinary activities into extraordinary activities… with a hot girl twist, because you’re bangin’.
Ordinary Things (with a Hot Girl Twist)
Reading outside
Reading a book outside? Not on our watch. How ordinary! Instead, you are indulging in the written word and embarking on a titillating adventure whilst bathing in the sun’s glow, thus revitalizing your mind as you bear witness to a delicious romance in a Jane Austen novel, as well as revitalizing your hot bod by supplying it with its daily dose of Vitamin D. You are an extraordinary goddess of literature who takes up space on her beach towel or on a bench or grounding yourself in grass at a sensible distance from other folks at high noon. Maybe you’re even partaking in a libation at your leisure—a coffee, a tea, a cocktail. You are a role model. A savant. You are not just reading outside. You are reading outside… and you are hot.
Happy hour on your couch
This isn’t just a mason jar of sparkling rose on your couch on a Friday night. Oh, no, no, no. This is sustainability in action: economic, environmental, and social. You woke hottie, you. The mason jar is not just a mason jar. It is a repurposed jam jar that once held the sweet compote of your favorite berry that you purchased from a local outdoor farmer’s market. You can still smell the remnants of the fruit as they merry flawlessly with the sweetness of your wine. The effervescent bev tickles your nose, and you sneeze into your elbow, because hot girls don’t spread germs. Your at-home happy hour oasis not only protects lives of those around you—we’re still in a pandemic, after all—but it’s also saving you money, because what do hot girls do? They invest in themselves and in their financial wellness. Here’s how, btw.
A DIY mani/pedi
You aren’t just slapping some OPI on your nails in a frenzy because your favorite salon isn’t quite open for business yet, you are a phalange artist. You heard me. A master of the (very small) paintbrush, navigating the intricacies of your nailbeds, all the while maintaining a level of concentration so strong, you could absolutely solve a cold case file in like, five minutes. You know what’s hot? People who accomplish what they set their minds to. And if you’re hoping to sport Big Apple Red this summer DIY-style, the least you could do is be super-hot while doing it. And you are.
Grocery shopping
Grocery shopping can be such a bore… but not when you’re an Iron Chef (and you are). Instead of dragging your feet to the nearest Trader Joe’s, you’re going to powerwalk down the runway like the hot girl chef/model you are. Purchasing herbs for an oven-roasted chicken? False. You are facilitating a sensory experience and deciphering which bundle of aromatics would best blend together to create the most delicious meal of your life that you will prepare with your own (DIY manicured) hands and consume (with your glass of rose) on your couch for happy hour.
A (socially distant) night out on the town
When and if it’s safe to do so, if you partake in a socially distant night out on the town, we hope you really go for it. Pull out that item of clothing from your closet that makes you feel spicy, sexy, hot, or handsome that you’ve been saving for a special occasion and wear it already. The special occasion is now. The special occasion is you. “But I’m only going to the local dive bar…” And? Is the local dive bar not worthy of your new leather boots? Are you not worthy of your new leather boots? Wear them. Kick down the door when you walk in, stomp your way to the bar, and order yourself a drink. Knock it back. Order another. And remember to tip well, because hot girls tip.
Hotness is a state of mind. It has nothing to do with what society says (or doesn’t say) and has nothing to do with another person’s perception of you. Hotness has everything to do with you and how you feel and perceive yourself. And after such a wild year, you deserve to bask in the glory that is simply being you.
